SPAM E-mail’s You’ll Never Get…

Reduce your freakishly large breasts (and/or) penis naturally…

Seduce your man with your new minus A-cup sized breasts…

Make your woman scream in ecstasy when you give her your infant-sized pinky-finger penis…

Increase your staying power! Take our FDA approved Alum substitute – you’ll be lucky if you can get it up at all, but at least you can STAY with her and cuddle…

You Have Won The Jackpot of 1 Million Dollars! Please enter your bank routing numbers, account numbers and passwords in the form below and the money is all yours! Okay, you didn’t really win. We’re just phishing for your personal and bank account information in the hopes that you’ll actually fall for it and give it to us so we can drain all your accounts and bankrupt you…

Lose weight naturally – take our yet-to-be-approved by the FDA pills that just happened to cause cancer in lab-rats and monkey’s who died a horrible and disfiguring death. We know these pills are completely safe for humans even tough one of our researchers suddenly developed hundreds of malignant tumors after just one use… (Oops, he just died – sorry – forget this message!).

Steroids – the pro-athletes choice! Increase body and muscle-mass while shrinking your breasts to nothing more than mosquito-bites or your penis to nothing more than a shriveled peanut with two peas attached…

Multiply your male organ with a lot of inches by utilizing the supreme treatment! Our secret is putting weights on it! We start off at 5lbs for one week, 10, for the second, etc…In just 90 days, you’ll be not only HUGE but in extreme pain and probably have a hernia. This method has been tested and proven – don’t delay, act now…

Click the link below for your access to REAL faux watches! We have everything from Boluva, LaCrow, Rolix, Tak Hauer and everything before, in-between and after – we ARE your resource…

Cialis and Viagra are for losers! If you can’t get it up for the woman you love, why bother taking a pill that will keep you rock-hard for up to 4 hours! She still loves you and understands – no matter what! Actually, she’s probably relieved that she doesn’t have to “make-love” with her worthless, skank-of-a-husband, (who’s probably feeling up his “secretary” everyday – you know, the ditzy-blonde who can’t type and doesn’t know shorthand, with the big “bazoombas”)… Actually – maybe you do need the pills – at least for the secretary…